


A Nezushi Christmas

by 96qutie



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:15:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6200071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/96qutie/pseuds/96qutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A christmas themed Nezushi reunion fic. Currently being edited and slightly re-written. Where it is right now I'm not sure how to finish it so I'm rewriting part 8 and changing the direction. My plan is to repost it when it's completely finished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grey Skies Meet Snow

It was cold out. Shion supposed it was always cold here by christmas, but he couldn't bring himself to go back inside.

There was a christmas party, going on inside his mother's bakery with all their friends. He supposed he should be happy, and in a way he was. He was happy they were there. Happy they were all having a good time. Happy No.6 was becoming peaceful, finally, after three years.

Three years.

And in another way, Shion knew he couldn't be happy. Not fully happy. Because he would always be thinking of him.

Where was he now? Was he outside in this bitter cold, staring up at the same dark sky?

There were no stars, no moon. The clouds were too thick to pierce them, and it was probably about to start snowing at any moment. Shion worried.

_Are you close enough, that this storm will touch you too?_ Shion wondered, staring up at the impassible sky. Are you cold? Are you safe? Are you thinking of me?

Shion sighed.

It had been getting worse lately; during this time of year when nobody wanted to be alone. When the gray winter sky reminded him, so much, of his eyes.

"Shion?" His mother called from inside and Shion flinched at the sound of her voice. "Shion, we're opening presents, are you coming?"

Shion counted to three, he took a deep breath. He smiled.

"Coming!" Shion called, his voice warm and cheerful like always. Like it used to be.

Shion turned back to look at the sky one last time.

"I miss you, Nezumi." He whispered, so no one could hear. "I miss you more than anything. I hope you are happy, where ever you are. I hope that I will see you again soon. Merry Christmas."

With those words Shion turned around, heading back inside with a smile schooled onto his features.

Just behind his shoulder, white flurries slipped by in the corner of his eyes.

It had begun to snow.

* * *

 

It had started to snow.

Nezumi looked up into the white flurries, holding out his hand to catch them on his palm and watching them melt. He smiled. The snow reminded him of Shion. Pure and White.

He was almost there.

It had been a snap decision, coming back. Nezumi wasn't sure about making such a big deal out of it, on christmas no less, especially after so many years.

Maybe Shion wouldn't want to see him, maybe he would be ruining the holiday for him, destroying Shion's world again. This thought had almost made Nezumi turn back a few times, but he held firm.

It doesn't matter, he thought. I want to see him. It's been long enough. I just want to see him.

Nezumi kept walking forward.

He didn't know where to go, besides the bakery. He wasn't sure Shion's mom worked there still, or if anyone would be there this late at night, but he had to try. He had to.

Nezumi turned the corner on what he remembered as being the right street, and it took him only a few moments to find the bakery. When he did, what he saw stunned him.

They were all there; standing across the street, Nezumi could see inside through a large front window. He could see everyone gathered, holding brightly wrapped packages. Passing them around with smiles on there faces.

Nezumi swallowed.

It was a ridiculous thought, but the first thing that occurred to him was…

I didn't bring a present.

In the next second, Nezumi's eyes zeroed in on Shion.

He sucked in a breath.

He looked the same. He looked so different. Nezumi couldn't decide. He it was good to see that his hair was still white, and there was still a pink stripe visible on his cheek.

At the same time, there was something in his face. Something sharper, something more defined. He was older. After three years of course he was. He looked much more like a man, now. And he looked so happy.

Nezumi felt paralyzed. He couldn't move towards him. He couldn't move at all. The thought of stepping inside that building and having everyone see him, it made his throat go dry.

What would they say? What do they think of him? Do they hate him, after all this time? Or worse, have they forgotten him… moved on from him.

He didn't know.

Nezumi closed his eyes, clenching his fists.

He gave one last look at Shion's face, and sighed.

"I can't do it, Shion." He murmured. "I'm sorry. But I'll wait for you, where you can't see me. And maybe… if it's just you." Nezumi's eyes tightened and he moved into the shadows between two buildings, where no one would see him. "I'll wait for you."

* * *

 

"Call me when you get home, so I know you're safe." Shion's mother called to him as he pushed his way out the door. He was leaving a little early, using work as an excuse. He felt bad, but he needed this. Just needed to be alone.

"I will," He called back, waving over his shoulder. "Merry Christmas everyone." He let the door fall shut behind him.

It was still snowing, bright white flakes against the black sky, replacing the stars. Shion smiled. It was beautiful. He tipped his face up to it, letting the snow graze his cheeks. It smelled cold; like tin and smoke. He let out a cloud of breath and blew into his hands. He had better start walking.

It wasn't far to Shion's house. He kept himself close enough that he wouldn't offend his mother when he asked to move out. Yet, far enough away that he felt satisfied, he was on his own. He'd needed that. He'd gotten used to it with Nezumi, and now, even without him, the desire to be independent burned in his veins.

Something Nezumi had rubbed off on him, he guessed.

When Shion finally arrived at the door of his building, it was the first time he felt like someone might be watching him.

He turned around, scanning the street up and down for movement but saw none. Only the quiet, and the falling of snow. Shion sighed.

He unlocked the door and went inside.

Shion kicked off his boots and dropped his coat on the floor so that he wouldn't get water all over the house. Then he headed for the kitchen. He needed some tea, something to warm him.

He hoped it would help.

Shion put the pot on the stove and clicked it on, watching the flame.

The apartment was quiet. It had been a long time since the mice had died. Shion had thought about getting a pet a few times, but he had never done it. He worked too much to take care of another living thing, and he didn't want to cut back. What was the point in this, if he wasn't making a difference?

Still… he missed the feeling of anticipation. Of someone who noticed when he got in and and when he left. Someone who was aware of him.

He'd always been that person before. For Nezumi. That had been nice too. Being the anticipator. There was something hopeful about it, something exciting. He missed that, like he missed a lot of things.

He missed even that.

Shion was still lost in his thoughts when he heard the soft sound of something… dragging?— Coming from the living room. Shion's heart broke into a sprint.

He tired to be quiet as he moved, as if worried about waking a beast. He walked on the balls of his feet, easing open a drawer and slipping a knife into his hand. He gripped it tightly as he tip toed his way out of the kitchen.

He was almost tempted to call out, like people do in horror movies. Instead he crept around the corner, and peeked carefully passed the wall into the other room.

It was empty.

That was Shion's initial reaction, and he almost immediately relaxed. That is until he noticed the cause of the noise he'd heard a moment ago.

The window on the wall was open.

He hadn't opened it, though he usually left it unlocked. It was irrational, but a habit he just couldn't break. It was a symbol of hope.

Shion's heart started beating faster. He slowly walked forward into the room and stared at the open window a moment longer before he cast his gaze around the room.

Nothing.

"Well, Well…."

Shion stiffed so fast he nearly dropped his knife. He couldn't bring himself to turn around.

"It looks like you've learned something since I've been gone. You're not quite as trusting as before. You've learned how to defend yourself."

Shion's heart was deafening in his ears. He knew that voice, cool and smooth like silk. He knew that voice. He half thought he'd never hear it again.

Shion swallowed, so hard his throat hurt like when you swallowed too much water all at once.

He turned around.

He had hands in his pockets and his cool, steel eyes trained on Shion, looking him up and down. The first thing Shion noticed about him was that he'd cut his hair. The second was that he was completely covered in snow. It had melted, and was dripping on to the carpet like fresh rain. A smile.

"Merry Christmas, Shion." he said, his eyes softening. "It's good to see you."

There was the sound of Shion's knife clattering to the ground.

Shion's voice shook as he spoke.

"Nezumi?"


	2. Not Forgiven, Not Forgotten

"Nezumi?"

Shion felt dizzy. He felt ungrounded, like a something had snapped his tether and he was seconds from flying away. His heart seem to beat out a staccato rhythm. Nezumi's here, Nezumi's here, Nezumi's here. But he couldn't find the words to speak.

"Yeah," Nezumi said finally, by way of response to Shion's sort-of-question. "Yeah, it's me." Nezumi shifted. His first gesture of nerves. "I'm back, Shion."

Shion swallowed. He felt like he wasn't breathing. He took a step back— as if space would open his air ways.

A flash of hurt crossed Nezumi's eyes and they darkened, like clouds turning towards a storm. "You're not happy to see me."

Shion's eyes widened. It wasn't a question. It should have been. Not happy to see him? How could he not be happy? Shion sucked in a shuddering breath. How could he not be happy… but then why did he feel like he was about to cry? Shion started shaking his head.

Nezumi's eyes widened, "Oh…" He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just come here like this. I'll uh… I'll leave."

Shion choked.

"No!" He shouted it so loud even Nezumi jumped, eyes widening in surprise. Shion shook his head wildly. "No don't go. I wasn't, I wasn't…. That isn't…" Shion could feel that tightness in his chest. He felt like he was going to throw up. This isn't what happened. Instead, tears started rolling down his cheeks.

Shion clapped a hand over his mouth. He couldn't talk anyway, and he didn't want to start sobbing. Crying silently was bad enough. Shion sunk down onto the floor.

"Shion?" Nezumi's eyes were wide, "Shion…"

Nezumi took a tentative step forward, as if testing Shion's reaction. When the white haired boy didn't move he took a few more, like Shion was an easily startled bird. When Nezumi was finally close enough to touch him, he didn't. Instead he sat down on the floor beside him, curling his legs to sit indian style and folding his hands into his lap. He looked at Shion with caution.

Finally he spoke.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, and then cringed, just as Shion turned to give him an incredulous look. "Sorry…. I shouldn't have asked that."

Shion saw the look on Nezumi's face. The desperation. Like he was beating his head against the wall for something to do, or say. It made something bubbled up inside Shion's chest.

He started to laugh.

"Shion?" Nezumi's jumped like a bomb had gone off.

Shion rolled forward— half laughing half crying— holding his stomach as he lay down on the floor. Nezumi stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"Do I need to throw water on you?" Nezumi asked in bewilderment, and Shion just started to laugh harder which seemed to alarm Nezumi. Shion didn't care though, he just laughed, and it felt good, and he didn't know why he was doing it but he couldn't stop.

When he had calmed down enough that he could breath— Shion sucked in a long, deep breath and reached for Nezumi.

And he kissed him.

"Mmph," Nezumi jerked in surprise and for a moment Shion thought he wanted to pull away.

But after that split second of surprise, Nezumi melted, and his hands came up to slide into Shion's hair.

Shion smiled.

There had been something hard and cold inside of him. It had been there for so long that he had almost stopped noticing. In that moment, though, Shion could feel it breaking open, and all things warm and bright started to pool inside his chest.

"Nezumi'," Shion whispered against his lips. There were still tears on his cheeks. "I missed you."

Nezumi sucked in a breath, and Shion felt it— Nezumi shaking like he was afraid. Then he pulled Shion harder too him, burying himself in him like he was hiding. Shion didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around Nezumi's waist and kissed him until they were both out of breath. And he definitely didn't mind.

So what if they were both a little broken? They could live broken together now, and that was all that mattered.

When they finally pulled apart Shion and Nezumi laid down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. Not speaking, not touching. And Shion's emotions settled as it truly began to hit him, the gravity of this.

Nezumi was back. He was here, and Shion had kissed him, the first full, deep kiss they'd ever had. And he had no idea what that meant. But somehow, he was still happy.

Nezumi was the first to break the silence. It could have been hours, or days, before he did. The first thing he asked was,

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

Shion was quiet. He hadn't thought about that. Had he been angry? It seemed wrong to say that he was. But….

Shion remembered nights, when he had missed Nezumi— ached and pined for him the the dark of his room like someone had died. And he knew he was angry. Angry that he had gone, and that he had left Shion here to miss him, with no way to know if he was okay. Those were the nights that made Shion whisper. "No."

Nezumi tensed. "I understand," he murmured, letting out a breath.

"But," Shion added, turning his head. Nezumi turned his too and they were looking at each other across the floor. "I still could."

Nezumi searched his eyes. "Yeah?"

Shion nodded, "Yeah."

Nezumi grinned, wide and brilliant in a way that he rarely did, and it took Shion's breath away. "Then I'll keep trying."

Shion's eyes widened, "You will?" He asked and his voice was barely audible. Nezumi heard it, though, and his expression changed. Became something like fear.

"Y-yeah." Nezumi whispered. "Yeah. It's like I said. I'm back."

Shion searched his face. "For how long?"

Nezumi's eyes hardened. "I don't have an answer for that right now, Shion." He murmured, he gaze scared and pleading. "I'm sorry."

Shion shook his head, and turned away. He wanted to tell Nezumi it was okay, but even he knew it didn't come across that way. The hurt showed on his face.

"Shion…" Nezumi said, sitting up so he could look in Shion's eyes. "I'm just not good at this. I never have been. As much as I want it to, that is not going to go away. But…." Nezumi let out a breath and seemed to stammer for the words. "But you're the first person who's made me want to try."

Shion stared.

"Ugh," Nezumi groaned holding his head in his hands. "I don't even know what I'm saying."

Shion smiled at that.

"It's okay," He murmured, reaching out to muss Nezumi's hair. "I do,"

"Whoa," Nezumi snapped, reaching up to smack Shion's hand away and shooting him a look. But Shion could see the smile in his eyes. "Don't think just because it's been three years that you get to be me. I'm still the hair mussing side of this relationship."

Shion laughed, "Oh yeah?"

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Of course!"

Shion grinned and reached for Nezumi's hair again, but this time Nezumi smacked his hand away. He rolled until he was kneeling over Shion, laying flat against the carpet.

"See what I mean?" Nezumi asked raising a dark eyebrow at Shion. His lips turned up at the corners, and he reached down to muss Shion's hair.

Shion laughed, and it was sort of like giggling. Nezumi smiled wider.

"So," Nezumi asked rolling off Shion and standing up. "This is the new place, huh?"

"Yeah," Shion breathed the word as he rolled onto his feet, straightened his clothes. His apartment was sparse. Even now, at christmas. He wasn't there much, except to sleep. His mom even insisted on having him for dinner most nights, so his apartment had this feel of something untouched. White walls, cream carpets, a smooth black couch, a glossy TV. The only place with any personality was his bedroom, but Nezumi couldn't see that from here, for which Shion was grateful.

Nezumi sniffed the air.

"What is that?" He asked. That's when Shion smelled it too.

"Oh god," Shion turned and ran for the kitchen. When he got in he noticed the tea pot boiling over on the stove. He had left the spout open by accident, so he hadn't heard it whistle. Now water had turned to puffs of steam all over the kitchen.

"Whoa," Nezumi said, coming in after him and waving a hand through the air to clear it. "What happened?"

"You," Shion complained, shooting him a look. "You distracted me."

Nezumi grinned, "Oh, sorry," He said, but he didn't look it. It was like the idea pleased him.

Shion sighed, turning on the kitchen fan and turning off the stove. He didn't need tea now anyway. He was vibrantly alert.

"Can I get you something?" Shion asked, feeling impolite if he didn't. "A drink? Food?"

"Actually…" Nezumi murmured, "I've been traveling for a few days, and a shower sounds pretty good right now. Would you mind?"

"Not at all," Shion replied, trying to down play the blush that immediately lit up his cheeks at the thought. "Bathroom's down the hall. Only door on the left. Towels are in the cupboard next to the shower."

"Thanks," Nezumi smiled and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

Shion let out a sigh. His heart was beating fast.

Once Shion heard the water running he let out a breath— finally having a moment alone. His thoughts and emotions were a tangled jumble at the moment, and it made him feel fragile in a way that he hadn't felt in such a long time.

Shion found himself walking to his room, just for a moment to feel like he was less exposed behind a closed door. He fell onto his bed.

He should be straightening up, he realized. There were clothes on the floor and the bed wasn't made, a sign of Shion busy schedule. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just laid on the bed with his hands pressed into his eyes, trying to breath.

What was going to happen now? Was Nezumi going to stay with him? Were they together now? They had kissed, but they had kissed before, and their relationship was never spelled out when they were younger. They had never been "together" and Shion didn't even know if that was something Nezumi wanted.

Since the dark boy had been gone, Shion had thought about it a lot. What it would be like if they went on dates, and held hands, if they slept together. But their relationship had never fit with the word 'normal'. It had always been deeper than that. He couldn't imagine just going to a movie with Nezumi. Holding hands a theatre, going out to dinner, and having anniversaries with flowers and gifts. It just didn't seem like the same world they lived in.

He could picture living with him, because they already had. He could picture kissing him, and sleeping beside him, and cooking dinner with him.

He could picture… other things too. Things he thought about more often then he liked to admit— more than was appropriate for the current situation.

These things they had not done, and Shion had to admit, that despite looking into it, he didn't have full knowledge off what it would be like. Only what his mind had managed to conjure up in his thoughts and in his dreams, which until know had been plenty for him. But now that Nezumi was here….

Shion shook his head. No, no, no. One step at a time. He had to talk to Nezumi. They had to sort this out together. Maybe once their relationship was a bit more defined he could start thinking about… things like that. But not yet.

The water to the shower shut off.

Not Yet.

It was a few more moments of abject panic before Shion heard the bathroom door open across the hall. And his stomach twisted into a knot.

"Hey, Shion?" Nezumi called, and Shion realized he still thought he was in the kitchen. "Do you mind if I borrow some clothes?"

Shion swallowed. Clothes?

"Shion?" Shion heard the doorknob turning, and he sat up just in time to see it open— with Nezumi standing on the other side in nothing but a towel.

"Shion?" Nezumi asked, in surprise but not embarrassment. Shion remembered that. Nezumi had always been physically unembarrassed. He was never the type to act shy.

"Sorry—," Shion started to say, but then he noticed Nezumi's eyes shift to something on the far wall and instantly go wide.

Shion turned to look at what it was and sucked in a breath.

He'd forgotten about the bookcase.

"Are these…." Nezumi started, taking a few steps into the room to get a closer look. His hand raised to point at them. "Are these mine?"

Shion steeled himself, staring at the books instead of Nezumi— fearing his reaction.

He'd taken the books because he had missed him, and the West Block wasn't safe anymore. He didn't want to risk losing that part of Nezumi forever, the part of him that used to love those books. But now he just felt as though he had been stealing.

"Oh," Shion cleared his throat. "Yeah. I— I didn't want anything to happen to them after the city became so chaotic. So I—,"

"Thank you,"

Shion turned.

The look on Nezumi's face gave nothing away. It was smooth, and for a moment Shion questioned if he had misheard him. But then Nezumi lifted a hand to his face, and Shion knew he was trying hard not to cry.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Shion whispered, half in surprise. "Of course."

"I thought…" Nezumi cleared his throat a few times. "I thought that you had moved on so much better then me. That everything that happened… that it was all behind you now. That maybe you would have forgotten, or at least wanted to."

Shion blinked in shock.

"I could never forget you," He burst in, with a sudden violence that made Nezumi move his arm to look at him. His eyes were a little red.

"I could never," Shion felt like he was hyperventilating. Saying the right words was his way to breath and he just couldn't find them. He tried again.

"I thought about you, every second. This was just a way of trying to keep you closer, if I could. I didn't want to forget you. I didn't want to forget anything. I wanted more of you, If anything. I would have held on to you until I died."

Nezumi looked at him, really looked. It was like having someone reach inside your chest and pull your soul out so they could see it better. And Shion couldn't move under his gaze. Finally Nezumi spoke.

"Would have?" He asked, his face unreadable. "Would have held on to me?"

Shion smiled. ""Will" seemed presumptuous." He explained, with half a smile. "I'm still trying not to scare you away."

"I think you have that backwards, then." Nezumi said with a smile. "Because as long as you want me, I think it would kill me to leave."

Shion broke out in a wide smile.

"I don't know…" Nezumi began again at Shion's hopeful expression, his eyes becoming afraid. "Shit. I don't know how all this is going to work, but… I just. I came back for you. I thought you should know that. That it's the only reason. I just came back for you."

Shion's smile softened, "Thank you." He said gently, not sure how else to respond "That's something I'm glad to hear."

Nezumi nodded, his eyes on the floor like he couldn't look at him. And Shion could see the wheels turning in his head.

"And I think we need to talk about… some things. To decide what we both want, going forward. I know that… that you have a life now. And you weren't expecting…" Nezumi struggled.

"I don't know that I wasn't expecting you," Shion chimed in. "I've been waiting, after all. For you to keep your promise."

Nezumi's eyes flicked up to look at him, deep emotion swimming through them. Then he looked away.

"Also," Shion added, as Nezumi began to pace. "If we're going to be having a long conversation, maybe you should get dressed. I kind of need my concentration."

Nezumi looked back at him in surprise, then down at himself. He chuckled amusedly, and it broke through much of the tension.

"Distracting you, am I?" He asked and Shion blushed making Nezumi smile wider. Shion didn't mind though. He liked Nezumi being cocky. It was something defining about him. And besides, Shion thought with a deeper blush. He should know how Shion felt.

"If you still want to borrow some clothes they're in the closet." Shion told him, gesturing to the mirrored closet in the wall. "Pick whatever you want."

"Sure," said Nezumi turning and walking towards the closet. He opened it, and let out a low whistle.

"Someone's grown up," He noted, shifting through the hangers. "No more grandma sweaters for you."

Shion blushed. "Shut up!"

Nezumi laughed. He clearly enjoyed Shion's discomfort, because he chose that moment to drop his towel to the floor.

Shion forced himself to look away with a blush.

When Nezumi was finally dressed he came to sit on the bed next to Shion. Finally allowing Shion too look at him. He was wearing one of Shion's white dress shirts with first few buttons undone; along with a loose pair of kakis. They were long on Shion but they fit Nezumi. Seems he was still taller, even now.

"So," Nezumi sighed leaning back on his hands. This allowed the shirt to part and reveal a triangle of pale skin. Shion had to force himself to focus. "Where do you want to start?"

Shion swallowed as dirty thoughts started to fill his mind. "Why don't you decide." Shion suggested, and flopped back onto the bed.


	3. Because We've Changed

The first thing Nezumi asked that night turned out to be something Shion wasn't expecting.

He'd known Nezumi to be passionate. He'd also known that he was probably the more practical out of the two of them. Yet, he never saw Nezumi as sentimental. That's why it surprised him when the first thing the dark boy wanted to talk about was…

"So… where do we stand?"

Shion blinked.

"What do you mean?" He asked, turning so he could see Nezumi's eyes from where he lay on the bed.

Nezumi wouldn't look at him. He was still leaning on his hands as if nothing had happened. It struck Shion again that Nezumi's hair wasn't tied back anymore. It was still long, by most peoples standards, but no longer enough to tie.

"I mean…" Nezumi seemed to struggle with his words. "I've been gone a long time. And our situation before was… different, and even then we could never agree on…. what we were to each other. So…. I thought… maybe we ought to talk about it."

Shion felt nerves flutter in his chest. Nezumi wanted to have this conversation? Now? Already? Shion swallowed. He thought that… based on how Nezumi was before that he'd have more time….

"Well…" Shion muttered, feeling a little out of his depth. How did he approach this? He'd never had to before, though at times he had tried. Him and Nezumi had always just sort of… been. Their relationship changed by the day.

"I guess that's something we both need to decide," Shion hinted, hoping Nezumi might help him out. "I mean, I don't know what you've been up to anymore than you know about me. I still don't know how things might have changed…" Shion tried again to catch Nezumi's eye. What was he thinking? Shion had no idea. Nezumi had always been hard to read, and he was out of practice…

"You kissed me before," Nezumi said— abrupt and indelicate, as if it had been all Shion's decision. Shion blushed up to his ears.

"I did," Shion agreed, just trying to be mature— but his blush wouldn't think of going away. "I wanted to. But that doesn't have to change anything for you. Whatever you want is fine with me."

Nezumi made a noise as if this frustrated him. "That isn't what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Shion asked, tilting his head. "What do you want Nezumi? You're the one who came back here. Shouldn't you know?"

"No!" Nezumi protested, finally turning around to look at him. He looked almost angry. "I didn't have time to figure all this out. I just… I wanted to see you."

"Why?" Shion asked, sitting up and staring straight into Nezumi's eyes. "Maybe that's what you ought to be asking yourself. What made you decide now was the time to come back? What made you want to see me?"

Nezumi stared, and against Shion's expectations his expression softened, almost to something sad. His eyes searched Shion's for… something. Shion felt like he might have understood.

"You know." he whispered, trying not to come off too harsh, "Ask me Nezumi. Whatever it is your trying to get me to answer for you. Just ask me."

Nezumi pulled back. He looked surprise, or maybe… startled was a better word— like Shion had struck him. When he seemed to relax, his hand came up to touch Shion's face, soothing the mark on his cheek beneath his thumb.

Nezumi sighed, "I'm trying."

Shion felt his heart beating hard in his chest. His eyes looking back and forth between Nezumi's. Waiting. Like he was holding his breath.

"Shion…" Nezumi said, and his breath brushed Shion's face. Making him tense. "Do you…." Nezumi sort of coughed and pulled back. "God, I can't do this."

Shion let out his breath like a huff. "Can't do what?"

Nezumi looked at him with slight irritation. "Talk! About this I mean. It's… just impossible."

Shion sighed. "No it isn't. You just won't say what it is that you want. And I guess you don't have to, but I'm not going to help."

"What?" Nezumi demanded, sounding mad. "What's that supposed to me?"

"It means I'll be waiting for you to figure this out on your own." Shion said, pushing off the bed and standing up. "I've been waiting; but it seems you still need a bit more time. So it's not that I'm kicking you out, but we are not having this conversation until you've figured out what you want."

"Why is this all on me?" Nezumi demanded, balling up his fists. "I came back for you! Isn't that enough?"

Shion shook his head. "It is enough, Nezumi. Enough for me to want you here, enough to be happy to see you. But that isn't what you're asking for, is it? So it isn't entirely enough after all."

Nezumi shook his head, "You're acting like this has nothing to do with you."

Shion smiled sadly. "Well… I'm not the one who left, Nezumi. I've been here. You're the one who didn't stay, didn't let things happen on their own, and that's fine. It's what you needed. But if you remember, I was there for you then. I wanted you to stay. That was my decision. This? This was your decision. Make it on your own."

With that Shion walked out of the room, leaving Nezumi sitting on his bed, while he sat on the living room couch and pretended to watch TV.

He tried not to show it, but this terrified him. Somehow he felt like this was the right thing, but it didn't mean he wasn't afraid that it would drive Nezumi away again. Or that he had prepared himself for if it did. He just wanted Nezumi to reach out for him too. Just this once with no excuses. That's what Shion was asking for.

Nezumi used to deny that he even cared about Shion. They would be enemies, he used to say. He would kill Shion, if it came to that. They were strangers.

Shion wasn't convinced, but he'd never been certain the other way either. A person can only go so long, hearing they aren't wanted, before they start to doubt if they are.

So Shion was asking. What ever it may cost him, he was just asking to know for certain. After all this time.

Shion didn't know how long it took. He avoided looking at the clock because he knew it wouldn't help. He just stared blindly at the TV and waited for something to happen.

_Maybe he's already gone_ , Shion thought, after a while. _Maybe he didn't even want to say goodbye._

It was that thought that kept Shion on the couch a while longer. That kept him from going back to Nezumi and apologizing. Because he couldn't stop imagining that if he went back in there, he would find that Nezumi was gone, and it would all be over like a dream.

At least if he still sat here— if he didn't move, didn't look— it wouldn't be over yet.

* * *

 

Shion had changed.

That was Nezumi's first thought after the white haired boy had left. That he wasn't the same boy that Nezumi had left.

Before, Nezumi could remember shouting all sorts of abuse at him. Telling the kid whatever he wanted about hating him, about not needing each other, even threatening to kill him more than once.

Nezumi had never meant it. And somehow, Shion just knew that, without having to be told. He just stayed and cared for Nezumi no matter what. Regardless of what Nezumi said he wanted.

Nezumi had appreciated that. Appreciated that he seemed incapable of scaring Shion away, because otherwise he knew he would have. Then he wouldn't have had any hope. Just like before they had even met.

Now Shion was different. I mattered now, what Nezumi said and did. Shion was refusing to pick up the slack anymore, and Nezumi knew it was fair, but it was also terrifying.

Nezumi wasn't prepared.

"He was right," Nezumi murmured. "I should have figured this out, before I came back. It isn't fair to him. It isn't fair to be gone so long and then ask him to act like nothing's changed. If I didn't want this, why am I even here?"

Nezumi sat on the bed for a long time. Trying to consider how to move forward now, how to be ready to handle this, what to ask for. Because Shion told him he could ask.

"He's too kind to me, even still," Nezumi chuckled ruefully. "He would be within in his rights if he hadn't given me a chance at all."

Nezumi thought about it for an immeasurable amount of time and he came to a conclusion.

He needed to be worthy of this chance, or he needed to leave. There was no middle ground. He couldn't ask anymore of Shion than he was willing to give to back. He had to decide.

Nezumi closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

And then…. smiled.

Hadn't he already decided? Wasn't that what Shion was saying?

If he hadn't decided, what was he even doing here?

* * *

 

"Shion?"

At the sound of Nezumi's voice, Shion nearly jumped out of his seat. He hadn't realized how much he'd expected him to be gone until he realized how shocked he was that he was there.

"Yeah?" Shion replied, trying to sound normal.

_This doesn't mean anything. Maybe Nezumi just needed to stay. Doesn't mean anything._

He heard Nezumi sigh. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Shion said, but his hands were shaking. His eyes on the screen seeming blind to seeing it.

Nezumi moved, his footsteps soft pads on the floor as he sat on the other side of the couch from Shion, folding one leg into his lap.

For a while they sat there; neither of them watching but both pretending. Until finally, Nezumi spoke.

"You were right."

Shion swallowed. "About what?" he tried to keep his voice light.

Nezumi sounded like he was smiling. "I was being a coward."

"I didn't actually say that," Shion pointed out, feeling a little guilty.

Nezumi laughed. "You kind of did."

Shion half smiled. "Sorry."

Nezumi shook his head. "Don't be. I needed to hear it."

Shion nodded. "And?"

"And…" Nezumi's voice trailed off as he let out a breath, and Shion could feel him turn in his direction. "Can I ask you something?"

"Ask me what?" Shion replied, still keeping his eyes on the television. Nezumi reached out, and took Shion's chin, turning him to look in his eyes.

They sparkled with mischief. "Can I ask you to sit still for the next… oh, I don't know… Twenty seconds?"

"What?" Shion demanded, looking bewildered. That wasn't what he'd been expecting. Nezumi grinned.

"You kissed me, right?" he said, moving forward. He didn't stop until he had Shion pressed up against the arm of the couch, and he was sitting in Shion's lap. "Now it's my turn."

Shion's eyes widened. He didn't have a chance to comment before Nezumi's lip descended on his and smothered his response.

 


	4. Lost Letters

Shion didn't expect to react the way he did.

When Nezumi climbed into his lap– and Shion felt soft lips moving against his mouth– something broke open inside of him. A haze coming over his mind.

If you asked him how it happened, Shion couldn't have told you. He remembered the taste of Nezumi's skin beneath his lips. The feel of his hair as he ran it through his fingers. Then Nezumi gave a shout of surprise.

Shion blinked his eyes open and was blankly shocked to find the dark haired boy sprawled beneath him on the couch.

"Shion?" Nezumi's sounded baffled as he stared up at the white haired boy, who was looking at him like he didn't even recognize him. A blush stained Shion's cheeks.

He squeaked, jerking back and falling onto the floor with a THUMP. He covered his mouth with his hands and shut his eyes, like a child trying to keep out a bad dream.

"I'm sorry," Shion mumbled rapidly beneath his hand, shaking his head back and forth. "I didn't— I don't know what I…"

Nezumi just blinked. Shion thought he was angry? Well that wasn't exactly right. Surprised was better. It just wasn't something he'd ever expected from Shion— the naive, innocent boy he used to know. Not that he was complaining….

One thing did disturb him a little though. If Shion never used to be like that… what happened to change him while Nezumi was gone? Could it be that someone else…

Nezumi sucked in a breath. The thought made him nauseous. It wasn't fair of course. Nezumi knew that. But someone else with Shion like this… it made him want to punch something.

"It's all right, Shion," Nezumi began, sitting up on the couch and running a hand through his hair. "We were going a little fast anyway, and I was just surprised. You used to be so shy."

Shion opened his eyes. Used to be? Shion thought he still was shy. He'd never acted like that before, never had the opportunity to. He had no idea where it had come from.

Shion blushed, "I… It's been so long and I…" Shion sighed, "I've always imagined… if you came back… and I guess that I just lost it a little bit."

Imagined? Nezumi's eyes widened. So Shion had been thinking of doing this with him? The thought made Nezumi's cheeks color, and he ducked his head, pretending to scratch the back of his neck.

"Umm…" Nezumi cleared his throat, "It's fine. I think it's getting a little late, though, and there's… a lot to take in. Maybe we should try this again in the morning."

Shion nodded head, over and over like a bobble, before carefully standing up. He looked at Nezumi with bright, frightened eyes. "You'll stay, won't you?"

Nezumi looked up at him, "Yeah. Shion I told you I'm back."

Shion smiled, "I meant will you sleep here?"

"Oh," Nezumi coughed, "Yeah. If you don't mind."

"Not at all," Shion smiled.

Shion ended up lending Nezumi some sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in. Nezumi smiled when he put them on, because they smelled like Shion—the same way he used to— and it was like going back to another time.

Once the two of them were ready for bed, Nezumi made a move to leave the room and Shion turned to look at him.

"Did you need something else?"

Nezumi turned back, "Huh? No. I was just going to go sleep on the couch."

"Oh," Shion put a hand to the back of his hair, mussing it with his fingers. "You don't have to. I have a big bed and I don't mind, unless you do."

Nezumi watched him, "I just don't want to intrude. I thought maybe you could use the space for a few hours, give you a chance to think."

Shion cleared his throat. "I've had plenty of space, Nezumi."

Nezumi expression fell, and he looked down at the floor. "Oh…"

"So it's fine," Shion put on a smile and moved toward the bed.

Nezumi grabbed his hand.

Shion turned back to look at him and he was staring at the floor.

"I forgot…" Nezumi took a breath. "I forgot to say something when I saw you again. The most important part."

Shion turned around. The most important? He wondered, with all the things between them, what Nezumi deemed was the most important.

"All right," Shion agreed, "What's that?"

Nezumi looked up, and his eyes were bright with so many emotions that Shion couldn't read them all. It was like trying to catch leaves in a storm.

Nezumi's grip tightened. "I'm sorry, Shion."

It was an incredibly simple apology. From someone else, it probably would have very little. But from Nezumi…. Shion smiled.

"I know," Shion said, reaching up to wipe the back of his arm across his eyes before he started crying. "Thank you."

The two of them didn't speak again for a while after that. They laid down near the edges of Shion's bed and turned their backs to each other, as if to give the other a few moments of privacy.

Everything was silent.

That's when everything started to feel real for Shion.

There had been, over the past three years, nights when he would wake up and swear, honestly swear, he could feel Nezumi in the bed beside him. Every time he would reach out, just wanting to touch him, to know that he was there. All he would find is cold, untouched sheets. That's when Shion would know he had been dreaming.

It happened every time. Shion would wake up to his dark apartment, and feel that somehow Nezumi was retreating from him. Getting farther and farther away each time.

He wouldn't be able to sleep again for the rest of the night.

It have been such a cruel trick.

It's so different, Shion thought. The real thing. Knowing Nezumi is here, feeling the warmth of him. It's so different. How could I not have known?

It was with that thought, that Shion turned around.

He could tell Nezumi wasn't asleep the second he looked at him. His body was too unrelaxed and still. Shion didn't disturb him though. He just watched him, and waited. And after a few moments of watching, Nezumi rolled over too.

Neither spoke. They just looked at each other, two pairs of eyes in the dark. Until Shion lifted his hand and laid it, palm up, on the pillows between them.

Nezumi's eyes widened, and a flash of memory filled his mind.

_Laughing. When was the last time Nezumi had laughed? He was gripping Shion's wrist, and Shion was laughing to. Until suddenly he wasn't, and his hand slid up to clasp with Nezumi's._

_What was he saying? Something about a fever. Nezumi felt Shion's forehead press against his own._

_Yes. A Fever._

_"You're pretty warm yourself," Nezumi had said, and his hand tightened around Shion's._

_"So, when they're alive, people are warm?"_

Nezumi's hand shook as he reached out and took Shion's, clasping them together on the pillows. Shion smiled.

"Goodnight, Nezumi," He whispered, and his eyes turned fierce. "See you in the morning."

Nezumi's breath halted for a second, and a wide, wild smile spread across his lips.

"See you in the morning." He agreed, and his fingers around Shion's tightened.

Together, almost like playing a game of chicken, they closed their eyes, and began to drift toward sleep.

In the last few moments of wakefulness, Nezumi could still feel Shion's hand an unbidden thought crossed his mind.

_I won't let go this time._

* * *

 

Nezumi woke to the smell of food.

Blinking his eyes open to the morning, Nezumi looked around to find himself alone in bed. For the briefest moments, he was unaware of how he had gotten there. Until it all came rushing back.

Shion.

I can't believe I'm really back, Nezumi thought, looking around. A warm shaky feeling filled his stomach.

Shion let me stay.

When Nezumi found his way to the kitchen he discovered the white haired boy was the source of the food smell. He was standing at the stove, cooking, with his back turned towards the door and humming under his breath.

Nezumi grinned.

"Ah!" Shion squeaked, when Nezumi's arms wound around his waist, and the dark boy's chin came to rest on his shoulder. Shion could feel Nezumi laughing.

"Morning,"

"Morning," Shion replied ruefully. "A little warning next time? I'm used to living alone."

Nezumi leaned into Shion's ear, "Next time?"

Shion blushed down his neck. "Oh, whatever!"

Nezumi laughed.

"Sorry," he surrendered, stepping back so he was leaning against the kitchen table. "So what's for breakfast?"

"French toast." Shion replied.

"French what?" Nezumi raised an eyebrow.

Shion turned to smile at him.

"It's good. Just try it." Shion coaxed. "I like it with syrup and powered sugar."

"I think you're made of powdered sugar." Nezumi replied, chuckling as he sat down at the table. "Thanks for making breakfast. I'm starting to feel like a free loader."

"Call it returning the favor." Shion replied. "For three years ago."

Nezumi smiled, "But I was already in debt to you when I let you stay with me, remember?"

"Hmmm," Shion hummed, "Well then I guess you'll just have to make it up to me some other way."

"Oh yeah?" Nezumi laughed, "That ought to be interesting."

Shion turned his head to grin at him, shooting him a wink.

Nezumi almost fell out of his chair.

Who is this kid?

"So how'd you sleep?" Nezumi asked after Shion asked him to start setting things on the table. Shion turned off the stove.

"I had a nightmare actually."

"Really?" Nezumi was a little shocked. He hadn't noticed anything. Shion used to always wake him when he had nightmares before.

"Yeah," Shion replied, bringing the rest of the food to the table and sitting down across from Nezumi. "I dreamed I had a rat in my bed."

Nezumi kicked him under the table.

"Look who gained a sense of humor." he said, smirking bitterly.

Shion grinned. "Just trying to lighten the mood. Did you sleep all right?"

Nezumi nodded. It was the first decent sleep he'd had in three years, but he decided not to mention that.

"So what is this?" Nezumi asked, poking the yellow bread that was lying on his plate.

Shion chuckled. "It's bread soaked in eggs and milk and then cooked. Think of it as eating scrambled eggs and toast at the same time. Only you get to put syrup on it."

"All right," Nezumi took the syrup and poured it on. It smelled sweet, so Nezumi went easy on it. He wasn't a sugar fiend.

"Do you want milk or orange juice?" Shion asked, getting up and heading back towards the fridge. Nezumi thought about it.

"Milk." he replied, and Shion paused with his hand on the fridge.

Nezumi turned to look at him. "What is it?"

Shion shook his head.

"Nothing," he said, pulling open the fridge. "It's just that this all feels so…"

"Normal?" Nezumi suggested with a smile. Shion turned to look at him.

"I was going to say 'right'." Shion replied. He smiled back.

The rest of breakfast passed with little more than small talk. It just seemed too early to get into everything else, but Nezumi appreciated it. It was nice just to act like things were easy for an hour or two.

When the two of them were doing the dishes, though, Shion got a phone call.

"Come on, it's the day after christmas." He complained to whoever was on the other line. "Why can't they just leave it until Monday?" he paused as the person on the other line spoke. Then he sighed. "Fine. Two hours. Then I'm turning my phone off."

Shion hung up.

"What was that about?" Nezumi asked, still drying a wet plate.

Shion sighed. "I have to go into work for a couple of hours. One of my Monday meetings came into town early and had to move our appointment up." Shion frowned. "Will you be all right here?"

"Sure," Nezumi agreed, stacking the plate on the counter. "I think I can keep out of trouble for a few hours."

Shion smiled. "Then I'll go get ready."

* * *

 

Shion was out of the apartment in a hurry. Being sure to apologize to Nezumi every chance he got before he left, and promising him he'd be right back. Nezumi just smiled and reassured him, "I'll see you when you get back." knowing that's what Shion really needed to hear. Shion nodded and smiled.

When he had left, Nezumi decided to get dressed as well, but then discovered he had nothing else to do. He found himself laying on Shion's bed and staring at the ceiling when Shion's book shelf caught his eye.

It had been so long since he'd read those books. He decided it might set him at ease, even just to hold them again. So he got up and started scanning the spines for the one he wanted to read.

He decided on Macbeth.

Nezumi slide it off the shelf. He was flipping it open against his palm, when a sudden flurry of white notes fluttered out from between the pages. Nezumi's eyebrows furrowed as he bent down to pick them up.

"What are these?" Nezumi asked the silent room as he picked them up and shuffled them into a pile. He looked at the first one on the stack and started to read.

_Dear Nezumi,_

_This book still makes me think of you, about that first night in the underground room when you said I couldn't read shakespeare. I don't know if you would think I've gotten any better or not, but I'm trying. I still read to the mice sometimes… but lately they haven't been looking well. I don't think I'll have them for much longer and than makes it harder. They're one of the few things I still have left of you._

_I wish you could read with me, like we used to. Sometimes when I'm reading I can still hear you in my head, imagining the way you used to read like you were acting out all the characters. I liked the books better like that. I liked how alive you made them. You've always had a way of making things more alive. I think that's one of the things I miss the most._

__ Shion_

Nezumi blinked in surprise. They were letters? Shion had been writing him. Yet, Nezumi got the feeling that they were more like journal entries than something Shion had expected him to read. Just a way of getting his thoughts out, and somehow that made it worse.

Nezumi felt a tightness in his chest. "Shion, What did I put you through?"

Nezumi knew he probably shouldn't, but now that he knew the letters were there he couldn't keep himself from reading the rest of them. He gathered up the ones he found in Macbeth and went to sit on the bed, reading them each individually.

Some of them were better then the first.

_Dear Nezumi,_

_Today we finally started the ground work on cleaning up the West Block. I think it's going to make a difference to have it getting some real attention…._

Some were worse.

_Dear Nezumi,_

_It's been two years today since you left. Their was a party celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the destruction of the wall but I didn't go. I can't stop thinking about the day that you left._

_Could I have stopped you, Nezumi? Is there something I could have done, or said, that would have made you stay? If you would have known how I felt about you, how much it killed me to watch you leave, would you still have gone?…_

Nezumi closed his eyes.

I am the worst type of person, He thought. What did he do to deserve the pain of caring about someone like me?

"Nezumi?"

Nezumi had been hearing Shion's voice in his head while he'd been reading the letters. So, for a moment he didn't realize this voice was really Shion's. That is until Shion's shadow crossed over the door.

"Nezumi, what are those?"

Nezumi looked up in surprise, "Shion?"

Shion's face was a mask of shock as his eyes stared at the letters clasped in Nezumi's hands. Then he lunged for them.

"Don't read those!" Shion snapped, snatching them from Nezumi's hands. "Where did you get these? What did you read?" Shion demanded, an angry red flush on his cheeks. "What makes you think you have the right to read these?"

Nezumi eyes flew wide, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I found them by accident. I just— I saw my name on them and I—,"

Shion turned away. He stuffed the letters in the wastebasket and then sat down on the floor, pressing his face into his hands.

Nezumi's heart broke just watching it.

"Shion, I'm sorry," He whispered, feeling a painful tightness in his throat. "I'm so so sorry."

Shion shut his eyes more tightly.

Silence fell over the room then, and for a long time Nezumi sat and waited for Shion to speak to him.

Finally he did.

"I didn't want you to see that," Shion whispered. "I didn't want you to know about that side of me. I'd been doing so well at hiding it from you…"

Nezumi let out a breath.

"You shouldn't have to," Nezumi told him. "Maybe… maybe it was something It needed to see. If I'm ever going to make up for leaving, I need to know what I'm making up for."

"But you're always so strong," Shion said, with a half hysterical laugh. "I didn't want you to think I'm so pathetic."

"I don't think that!" Nezumi stood up and went to where Shion was sitting on the floor, grabbing him by the shoulders. "I couldn't never think that. You're better than me, Shion. Better in so many ways. To be honest, I think you're even better at being without me than I was at being without you. You did something! With your life, with this city. Even writing those letters makes you better than me, because I couldn't face it." Nezumi's voice hitched. "I couldn't even face how lost I was without you."

Shion head shot up, his bloodshot eyes finally meeting Nezumi's.

He blinked. "You were?"

Nezumi smiled, "Of course I was," He laughed, sounding close to tears. "I always have been."

Shion smiled, and tears welled in his eyes, "I missed you, Nezumi."

"I know," Nezumi murmured leaning forward to press his forehead to Shion's, and closing his eyes. "I missed you too."

 


	5. Kissing 101

"Shion, you can't leave those letters in the trash," Nezumi said. Shion was sitting on the wastebasket to keep Nezumi from pulling the letters out. This argument had been going on for five minutes.

"They're my letters."

"You addressed them to me."

"You read them already."

"I didn't read all of them."

"Good!"

Nezumi finally broke down and started laughing. "All right, fine. Whatever you want. So how was work?"

Shion sighed, "A waste of time. We were talking to a construction company from No.4 about helping us rebuild. They're being unreasonable, though. We can't pay what they're asking. Such jack asses"

Nezumi snorted, "I don't think I know who you are anymore."

Shion smirked. "Am I that different?"

Nezumi smiled, leering at him. "Hmm… I don't know. I think I need a closer look."

Shion raised his eyebrows, "Oh?"

Nezumi came towards him, crouching in front of Shion and brushing some hair out of his face. His hand curved to fit Shion's cheek.

"Hmm…." Nezumi hummed, his eyes looking back and forth between Shion's, like he was studying him. "No… not that different." He murmured. Before he leaned in and he kissed him.

"Mmmm…." Shion hummed against Nezumi's lips. When they finally broke for air he asked. "So where are we at with talking about this?"

Nezumi shook his head. "No more talking." he said leaning back in to capture Shion's lips. His hand curving around the back of his throat and then up into his hair. Shion shivered.

They broke for air again, and Shion's face was serious. "How about I start us off? Nezumi, I've been thinking about having sex with you."

Nezumi sort of choked.

"Right into it, then?" He asked, with a grimace.

Shion chuckled. "You've been stalling. I'm just trying to get things moving."

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. "Really? In that case—."

Nezumi grabbed Shion by the hands and yanked him to bed, sprawling him across it and climbing up on top of him.

"Why don't we get right into this too?" Nezumi suggested, and his mouth attached itself to Shion's.

Shion flushed, and his heart started to pound.

What did he say? Now? Shion started shaking his head.

"Nezumi wait—,"

Nezumi pulled back. "Yes?" he smirked at Shion's flushed face and Shion turned his head away.

"When I said that, I thought… I don't know. That we'd work up to it?" Shion stammered, his eyelids fluttering, "I mean I want you… that way… But I'm still just…" Shion flushed brighter.

Nezumi's eyes widened, and he leaned back a little more. "You're still a virgin?"

Shion jerked at the word and then scrunched up his face. "Well yeah, Of course."

Nezumi blinked. His level of relief at this statement was staggering. He struggled to hide it, but the whoosh of air that left his lungs was a bit unmistakable.

"What?" Shion asked, raising an eyebrow. "What did you think?"

Nezumi blushed and moved to the side, rubbing the back of his head as he settled on to the bed beside Shion. "Nothing… It's just that… three years is a long time. And you're sort prime age for…"

"Yeah, well." Shion sat up. "I was waiting for someone."

Nezumi turned red, and couldn't disguise it. Shion smiled, but didn't point it out. This moment was uncomfortable enough.

"You don't have to feel weird though," Shion added, as an after thought. "I know it's not the same for you. I don't expect it."

Nezumi's breath hissed on his teeth. "You're right, I'm not…. but…" Nezumi seemed to struggle to say the rest. "I haven't… since I've been gone… there hasn't been anyone else. And even before…. it wasn't… the same."

Shion's eyes widened for a moment before warmth filled his expression.

There weren't words. Nothing that wouldn't come across condescending, so Shion just reached for him.

When Nezumi turned to look, Shion kissed him, slow and lazy. Like they had all the time in the world. Nezumi let out a sigh.

Then Nezumi tilted his head, changing the angle so that he could run his tongue along Shion's bottom lip. Shion made a soft noise. Nezumi must have taken this as encouragement, because he leaned into him. His hands wove into Shion's hair as Nezumi bore him back against the bed.

Shion squeaked in surprise. Nezumi used the opportunity to slide his tongue into the younger boy's mouth, teasing him. Shion whimpered, his tongue coaxed into a dance with Nezumi's, moving and circling and tasting each other's mouths.

When they finally broke for air, Nezumi pulled back to brush Shion's hair away from his face and he smiled.

"How is it…" Nezumi asked, smoothing his thumb over the scar on Shion's cheek. "That a boy who hasn't kissed anyone is such a better kisser now than he was before?"

"You never really kissed me before." Shion replied, shifting on the bed to get more comfortable. "They were all goodbyes and promises, remember?"

"I remember," Nezumi said, his eyelids lowering to darken his eyes. "As I recall, you didn't know how to give a thank you kiss."

"It wasn't a thank you kiss," Shion laughed, "It was a goodnight kiss."

"You mean a goodbye kiss."

"That too."

Nezumi chuckled. "Well would you like to learn?"

Shion raised his eyes to Nezumi's face, tilting his head. "Learn what?"

Nezumi brushed his cheek, "About all the different kisses."

Shion blinked, "How many are there?"

"Oh plenty," Nezumi assured him, with a sinful curve of his lips "But I'll only teach you the most important ones."

"Is that right?" Shion asked, his lips spreading in a smile. "All right then. Lay them on me."

Nezumi snickered and leaned close to Shion's ear. "Encouraging choice of words."

Shion shivered.

"Let's start with Thank you, since you obviously need help with that one." Nezumi said, and Shion rolled his eyes.

"Just shut up and kiss me,"

Nezumi chuckled, and braced his fingers beneath Shion's chin, tipping his head back.

Thank you kisses, as it turns out, were soft. Just the press of lips. Deep enough to make your stomach flutter, but light enough to leave Shion leaning after him when Nezumi pulled away.

Nezumi grinned. "Think you can remember that one?"

Shion blushed and nodded.

Nezumi brushed his thumb against Shion's jawline. "Good."

"What's—," Shion cleared his throat. "What's the next one?"

"The next one," Nezumi instructed, "Is a proper goodnight kiss."

Shion rolled his eyes again, "Oh, I suppose I need help with that one too?"

Nezumi chuckled, "Well you didn't kiss me last night, did you?"

Shion flushed, "Well… I…"

Nezumi eyes glittered, "Then let me show you."

Shion sighed, looking up at Nezumi, waiting as the dark haired boy drew his fingers from the top of Shion's head, down the curve of his neck. The feeling of it making a bright heat bloom beneath the skin. Nezumi smiled as he saw the darkening in Shion's eyes.

"Now, there's more than one kind of goodnight kiss—," Nezumi began, only to get interrupted.

"Is there?" Shion jeered, humor sparking in his eyes.

Nezumi shot him a look. "Teacher's talking."

Shion tipped his head back towards the ceiling with a sigh, and Nezumi chuckled.

"We're just going to stick to the two important ones."

"Okay," Shion agreed without looking at him. "and which are those?"

"The first," Nezumi said, "Is for when you're not staying over."

Nezumi smoothed his hand up Shion's neck so he was cradling the back of his head, running his thumb along his throat. Shion looked into his eyes. They were dark as gunmetal.

This kiss was different. It was a deep pressure of lips. As if all the heat of Nezumi's mouth could flow straight into Shion. It rooted in the white-haired's stomach like a live, fluttering thing. When Nezumi pulled back again Shion was breathless.

"The other important goodnight kiss," Nezumi continued, with a sly smile, "Is if you are staying over."

Shion felt nervous, mostly due to the cunning light in Nezumi's eyes. This time, instead of moving up, Nezumi's hand went down. It rubbed a soft pressure into the skin at the top of Shion's back, where the hard jut of his spine met the tense muscles of his shoulders. It was like getting a massage. All the tension went out of him. A soft pliable feeling ran through the muscles of his back, completely relaxing him as Nezumi's mouth met his.

This was not an innocent kiss, it was full of suggestion. Nezumi turned his head and deepened the press of his lips, giving a quick dart of his tongue like an invitation to go further. Shion felt his entire body melt, and soft moan escaped his lips without his permission.

Nezumi smiled.

"I can tell you liked that one best so far," He teased when they had parted, dropping Shion a wink. But Shion didn't miss the gleam in Nezumi's eyes that told him Nezumi had been just as invested in that as he was.

Shion decided to change the subject.

"Are you suggesting that was the kiss you would have wanted me to use that night?" Shion asked with a curve of humor to his smile. Nezumi grinned.

"It's all about intentions, Shion." Nezumi countered, "That kiss wouldn't have worked for you then. That's why their are so many kinds of kisses. It's a form of communication."

"Like body language?" Shion asked raising his eyebrows. Nezumi laughed.

"A subdivision of body language, maybe."

Shion chuckled. "All right. So how am I to get by without knowing all these forms of kissing?"

"Oh don't worry," Nezumi assured him, smirking again. "I have all the time in the world to teach you."

Shion flushed.

"S-so what's next then?" Shion stammered averting his eyes. Nezumi chuckled.

Nezumi pretended to think for a moment before shifting his weight. He freed his hand, sliding it under Shion's shirt, and running it up Shion's waist to curve around his back. Shion shuddered.

This time Nezumi didn't hesitate before slipping his tongue passed Shion's lips. He slid it against the roof of his mouth, making Shion give a soft cry which Nezumi swallowed. This kiss took longer to break before Nezumi pulled away for air. It left Shion blushing and panting in response.

"And what does that kiss mean?" Shion asked, breathless and a little hesitant.

Nezumi grinned, his lips still red and wet from kissing.

"I thought it was obvious." he said, leaning down to brushed his lips against Shion's ear. "It means 'I want you'."

Shion shuddered again, and Nezumi chuckled. When he pulled back their eyes met, and the glaze of lust in Shion's made heat shoot through Nezumi like a bullet. He cleared his throat.

"I think that's all I need to teach you for today," Nezumi said, his voice more breathless than it was before.

Shion bobbed his head. "Okay," He breathed, lowering his eyelids as he met Nezumi's eyes, and for a moment time seemed to stand still.

Then Shion reached for him.

It was fast this time. Teeth and tongues clashing. Nezumi's nipping Shion's mouth, making his body feel like water as his hands moved to explore Nezumi over his clothes.

He wanted to go deeper, but he was too timid to do it on his own. At the moment a little to distracted by Nezumi's skillful mouth gather his courage.

Shion gasped for air, falling back against the bed. Nezumi's hot lips began to travel. He trailed downward until he got to the soft hollow just beneath Shion's jaw. He pressed a firm kiss there, and Shion give a sharp moan in surprise.

He had no idea how sensitive that would be. But Nezumi must have, because Shion could feel him smiling against his skin.

"Shion," Nezumi said, out of breath. "Do you want to touch me?"

Shion blood seemed to spark in his veins at those words and his head became a little dizzy as he struggled for a response. "Y-yeah, but I…"

Nezumi chuckled. His lips found their way to Shion's throat, which made the vibration travel through him as if he were laughing too. "Let me help you."

Nezumi took Shion's hands and started guiding them. Shion swallow hard as they slid beneath Nezumi's shirt. His skin touching the hard muscles of Nezumi's stomach that made Shion's entire body quiver.

At first Shion thought Nezumi was completely secure in himself where Shion was not. Until he noticed the nervous spark in Nezumi's eyes when he looked at him. That's when Shion realized this must be a little frightening for Nezumi too.

That may have been what made Shion's decision.

"Nezumi?" he murmured, running his hands up Nezumi's neck to hold him in place. "Would it be all right… if we didn't go much further than this for now? Just touching and kissing… until…." Shion seemed to struggle. Until later? Until he was ready? He wasn't sure how to phrase it. He was still struggling with his body about wether or not he wanted to wait at all.

Nezumi smiled, "Yeah, I think that's best." He agreed without needing further explanation. Like maybe he had been thinking the same thing to. "When it happens…. I want it to be a little more special than this."

Shion blushed at that, but nodded his head. Trying not to imagine what special with Nezumi might look like. But Nezumi continued.

"Besides," He said, leaning in to press soft kisses to Shion's throat. "I want to do this slowly. I want to show you everything you know nothing about, and I want to savor every single moment of pleasure with you, one at a time. So that ever single one of them gets better than the last. Then, when it's all over, I'll have been the one to show you."

Shion let out a trembling breath.

Nezumi chuckled, low and menacing in his throat. His tongue slid along Shion's scar, making him tremble and forget what day it was, let alone what Nezumi had just been saying. Soon they were consumed by each other again.

They didn't surface for a long time. They just explored. These things that neither one of them had the chance to explore before. Hands moved over smooth skin. Mouths memorizing the way the other's moved. Nezumi whispered against Shion's skin.

"Don't worry Shion. I'm going to show you a completely different world."

"I know, Nezumi." Shion panted back, running his hand up Nezumi's spine under his shirt, making the dark boy arch into his touch. "You always do."

Nezumi chuckled at that, and leaned his forehead against Shion's.

"I'm so glad I haven't lost you." Nezumi said, his voice thick and his breath heavy as it mingled with Shion's. Shion smiled.

"You'll never lose me." He told him, drawing patterns against Nezumi's skin, "I've been yours. Ever since you tried to kill me for leaving my window open when I was twelve."

Nezumi started seizing with laughter at that. Out control emotions bubbling over like water in a boiling pot. "I think that's simplifying the story a bit."

Shion giggled, "Close enough."

The two of them laughed together, until both of them were laying on the bed and laughing so hard they couldn't breath. Until they weren't even making sound anymore.

That was the first real moment that Nezumi knew he had come home.


	6. Confessions

That night Nezumi read to Shion. Like Shion had asked him to, in a letter Nezumi was never supposed to read.

He didn't have to ask this time. After dinner, Nezumi just held up a book and Shion smiled. That was all it took.

It turned out differently, than it used to. Nezumi felt nervous in a way he almost never was. More nervous than even acting usually made him.

He felt like he owed Shion something amazing, without know exactly what that was. But once Shion's weight was resting against his side–a pleasant, warm pressure– all his nerves went away.

It was what happened next that surprised him.

Nezumi didn't know why he glanced at Shion. Perhaps it was just hard to go too long without looking at him. When he did, he saw tears sliding down Shion's face.

"Shion?" Nezumi's eyes widened and his muscles tensed as he fumbled to do something. Shion only laughed.

"Just keep reading, idiot." Shion said, turning to bury his face against Nezumi's shoulder. Nezumi stared in surprise.

Something about the gesture reminded him of himself. Just faintly, like two pictures taken with the same colored tint. And Nezumi didn't know how to react.

The idea that he had changed him– that there was an influence of him in this boy… made him swell with both pride and grief.

He's changed you, too. A voice from somewhere inside of Nezumi seemed to say. You're not same person you were before.

Nezumi cleared his throat, and began reading again.

It had grown dark again. Snow was making silent shadows on the windows by the time Nezumi looked over and found Shion sleeping against his shoulder.

He smiled.

He didn't want to wake him. But the idea of sleeping at the moment made Nezumi feel restless.

He was careful as he transferred Shion onto the bed and tucked him into the sheets. Then he slipped into the hall.

It took about two hours of reading on the couch for him to realize why that was a bad idea.

"Nezumi?"

Nezumi looked up.

It was starting to get late, but he could have sworn he heard Shion call for him. Nezumi closed his book and headed towards the bedroom.

"Shion?" Nezumi asked as he opened to door.

When he did, he saw Shion's head whip around to look at him. A wild panic in his eyes.

Shion's breath seemed to leave him at once.

"Shit." Shion started to shake. Like someone close to freezing. He breathed in and out, trying to calm himself down.

"Shion?" Nezumi's eyes widened and he ran to the side of the bed. "Shion, what happened?"

"I thought—," Shion shook his head. "I don't know… I thought…"

Nezumi's blood ran cold. "You thought I'd left."

Shion looked up at him with wide, frightened eyes. His expression crumpled into guilt.

"Sort of…" Shion let out breath. "Actually… I guess thought…. this might have all been a dream."

Nezumi shut his eyes.

"Oh," Nezumi reached up, supporting his forehead in his hand. He let out a shaking breath. "I'm not sure which one of those makes me feel worse."

Shion's eyes widened. "Nezumi, I'm sorry, I didn't—,"

Nezumi waved him off.

"Don't apologize to me." Nezumi pressed his lips in a straight line. "I understand— better than you think."

Shion paused.

"What do you mean?" he asked, and Nezumi opened his eyes too look at him. They gleamed sliver in the dark.

"I used to have dreams too," Nezumi breathed, his voice low and his eyes unseeing. "Sometimes I would comeback and find you, but sometimes you were just there. I should have known they weren't real, but I never…" Nezumi sighed.

"I don't have any right to tell you this." He finally said.

Shion's hands balled into fists.

Shion stretched up on the bed, kneeling among the sheets. He reached out to Nezumi, grabbing him by the shoulders so that he would look at him. Shion set his jaw.

"I want you to tell me." Shion said, his grip on Nezumi tightening. "I've always just wanted to know what you think of me, if you even do. You think it would make me angry— that you wished for me, while you were gone— but it was thinking that you wouldn't that broke me."

Nezumi stared at him, his eyes bright and his lips parted in surprise as Shion's words sunk in. Then his expression closed up into something more solid.

"Do you remember the day," Nezumi began, reaching up to brush his fingers over Shion's scarred cheek. The boy's cheeks warmed. "In the West Block, when you first came to see my show?"

Shion tilted his head.

"Yeah," his eyebrow pulled together at the memory. "That was the night you passed out on stage. When you woke up, you were furious with me."

Nezumi half chuckled. "Right."

"What about it?" Shion asked, studying Nezumi's face. He wasn't sure how'd they gotten on this topic, but Nezumi just smiled.

"It was the first time you ever made me this nervous."

Shion balked. Barely noticing it, as Nezumi swiped his hand over Shion's cheek, and over his neck, until he was playing with Shion's hair. Shion's heart seemed stutter. "What?"

Nezumi laughed at his expression.

"I'm surprised you didn't notice, honestly." Nezumi continued, half distracted, like he was just saying the words as he thought them. "Rikiga did. The second I saw you I completely froze in my lines. I'm surprised my director didn't start yelling from back stage."

"I didn't notice anything," Shion blinked. He was looking at Nezumi like he was something brilliant and valuable, found in some unexpected place. "Were you that worried something was going to happen to me at the theatre?"

Nezumi barked a laugh.

"No," Nezumi grinned mussing Shion's hair like he was a little kid. "Not that the theatre was the safest place— but that was not why I didn't want you there."

Shion's eyebrows furrowed, "But you said—,'

"I couldn't tell you the real reason," Nezumi rolled his eyes, like it was obvious. "If you knew that having you watch me on stage, in a dress, was what was bothering me, you would have insisted on coming for sure."

Shion wrinkled his forehead, "But I don't understand." He said cocking his head like a curious dog. "You were in front of crowds of people, all the time. How could you be that embarrassed?"

Nezumi's eyebrows sloped downward in disbelief.

He took Shion by the back of the head, so the boy would look at him, and gave him a stern expression. "None of them are you, idiot." he said, enunciating every word, like he wanted Shion to hear the inflection of every single one, before he let him go.

Shion sucked in a breath.

"Even then?" Shion asked in shock, a smile forming on his lips, like a flower blooming. "I was special, even then?"

Nezumi clapped a hand over his face.

"What do you mean, even then?" Nezumi demanded, tossing his hands in the air. "Do you think I spent everyday of my life rescuing people from No.6? Did you really believe I monitored the whole city well enough to spot just anyone getting arrested? Honestly Shion! You've been special since I was twelve!"

There was an abrupt silence.

Nezumi's mind seemed to catch up to his words then, and his entire face went immediately pale as his words sunk in.

Nezumi raised a hand to cover his mouth.

Of the two of them, it was possible that Nezumi was the most surprised to hear those words come out of his mouth. But it was a tough competition, seeing as Shion seemed to have turned into a statue on the spot.

Since I was twelve

You've been special…

Since I was twelve

Honestly Shion

The words echoed through Shion's mind as if it were a hollow thing and they could bounce around in it, back and forth, against the sides.

"Shion?" It took a heap of will power for Nezumi to take a breath and try to get Shion's attention. Most of him wanted to go sprinting from the room. "Shion, are you still with me?"

Shion raised his eyes.

"The whole time?" he asked, his voice breathless with disbelief. "You cared for me this whole time?"

"Tch," Nezumi huffed like it was a defeat. "You didn't know?"

Shion shook his head.

"What did you think?" Nezumi asked, suddenly curious. "You knew I wasn't exactly into charity."

Shion shrugged his shoulders. "You always pushed me away."

Nezumi gazed at him. "I thought you saw through all that."

Shion slouched back onto the bed.

"I saw some things," He defended himself. "You pretended not to be a good person but I knew that you were. I knew that you felt… something… for me. But there's a difference between caring about me as a person and actually caring for me."

Nezumi folded his arms. "And what about you? What did you think of me, back then?"

Shion smiled.

"I've always loved you, Nezumi." He said, his eyes warming and melting like metal over heat. "I don't think I always knew what to call it… but I've always felt the same."

Nezumi inhaled, like someone had just thrown cold water on him. His entire frame going stiff with shock.

Shion lips curved toward a smirk.

"You asked," He shrugged. "If you weren't ready to hear it…"

And that's when Nezumi pushed him down.

"Mmph—," Shion gave a muffled shout as Nezumi lips crashed against his. Moving, and coaxing him into playing along. Shion's body shook with laughing.

Nezumi had always been better at the physical than the emotional. Shion was somewhat amused to find him move things back into his own comfort zone. He wasn't angry though. He wanted to kiss Nezumi too.

Nezumi hand slid up Shion's back under his shirt, making the boy arch up against him. Shion hummed, tugging at Nezumi's shirt in return, trying to pull it off.

Nezumi leaned back to look at him.

Shion was blushing, and the innocence of it made Nezumi smile.

"It's getting late," he said, brushing a hand through Shion's hair. "Unless you want to lose that virgin's glow we should get some sleep."

Shion blushed all the way down to his toes.

"You started it," he stammered, letting out a bit of a loud breath. "You can't just leave it to me to be the only one with any self control."

Nezumi chuckled.

"You're right," He agreed, eyes glinting in the dark. "I just trust you more than myself. Especially when it comes to this."

Shion looked at Nezumi— with his silver eyes gleaming, his dark hair messed, his lips bright from kissing.

Shion swallowed. "You shouldn't."

Nezumi teeth flashed as he grinned.

"Let's go on a date tomorrow," Nezumi suggested, rolling off of Shion so the boy could sit up. "If we're going to be official."

Shion blushed. "Where would you want to go?"

Nezumi shrugged. "It's been three years since I've seen No.6, Shion. I think you're going to have to take the reins on that."

Shion leaned back on his hands, and took a deep breath, trying to think.

"I don't know… I work so much I've never had time to go out anywhere. My knowledge of the city is mostly the parts that are being rebuilt."

Nezumi chuckled, "Don't tell me you've turned into that stir crazy little student again. Haven't I taught you better?"

Shion ducked his head. "There's a lot to do!"

Nezumi mussed his hair.

"I might have an idea after all." Nezumi decided thoughtfully, looking at the ceiling. "Provided that it's still there."

"What?" Shion asked, and Nezumi shook his head.

"Not telling," he said, giving Shion a secretive look. "Do you have work tomorrow?"

Shion looked a little surprised by the question.

"Well…" he cringed. "I decide my own schedule, but I try to go in for least a while everyday—,"

Nezumi frowned at him. "Okay, work-a-holic. You and me are going to have a serious talk about how much you'll be cutting back at the office now that I'm around."

Shion eyebrows came together, "I have responsibilities, Nezumi."

"That's what delegation is for," Nezumi replied. "but we can work that out later. Go to work tomorrow if you want, but if you're there passed six I'm coming to get you."

Shion frowned, "You don't even know where it is."

"I will tomorrow."

"How?"

"Because I'm walking you to work," Nezumi shrugged, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Shion blushed, "You are?"

Nezumi smiled, "Of course," He said, leaning in to peck Shion on the lips. "Now lets get ready for bed."

"I didn't know you were so tired," Shion said, raising his eyebrows as Nezumi stood up from the bed and stretched.

The dark haired boy turned to look back at him.

"I'm not, especially." Nezumi confessed, before leaning down to touch Shion's face. He ran his thumbs beneath Shion's eyes, where dark circles had started to form. "But I can tell you are. And I'm not leaving you in here alone again."

Shion blinked.

Nezumi was about to pull back when Shion grabbed him. He brought their lips together again, kissing him long and hard before letting him go.

Shion looked up at him with a smile.

"I love you," He said, his eyes bright and sincere.

Nezumi looked down at him in surprise.

He cleared his throat.

Nezumi turned around, and for a moment Shion thought he was just going to leave the room without saying anything. When he reached the doorway he paused, his hand on the door frame, before turning his head. Shion could see the silhouette of his face in the light from the hall.

Shion watched the shape of his lips as they moved against the light.

"Wait for tomorrow, Shion."

Then he walked across the hall and the bathroom door shut firmly between them.

Shion smiled.

Tomorrow it is.


	7. A Surprise

Karan was worried.

On christmas night, Shion should have called to tell her he had gotten home, but he hadn't. It hadn't been until the next morning that she had finally gotten a call from him, and he sounded different.

It wasn't a bad different, not necessarily, but it was different. And when Karan asked him about it he had been quick to dismiss her and in a hurry to hang up the phone.

Karan knew there must be something that he was keeping from her, she simply didn't know what it was.

That is until the bakery bell rang early one afternoon, two days after christmas.

"Welcome to Karan's Bakery," Karan said, dusting flour off her hands as she turned around to greet her new customer.

When she did, her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello, Ms. Karen." said a low musical voice, his lips curving up in a smile. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Perhaps it was just his countenance. Or maybe a mother's intuition. Somehow she knew instantly what dark boy had just walked into her shop.

"Nezumi," Karen breathed. Her voice was barely loud enough to hear as she stared at the tall, slender young man with the ink-black hair and ash gray eyes. "You… how are you here?"

Nezumi smiled, reaching up to flip the ends of his scarf over his shoulder. Then he tucked his hands into his pockets as if trying to stop a nervous twitch.

"I'm back in the city." Nezumi explained, looking around at Karan's shop instead at the woman herself. "I'm sorry to spring myself on you. Honestly, I would have waited to come and meet you until Shion brought me, but I was hoping to get your help with something."

Karan blinked.

"Does Shion know you're back?" She asked, her voice high with panic. Nezumi turned to look at her with wide eyes.

"Yes!" He said immediately, holding up a hand like you might do to calm an angry dog. "Of course. He's known I've been back for almost three days. I've been staying with him."

Karan let out a relieved breath.

"So that's what's been going on," She said with a sudden smile. "I wonder why Shion didn't tell me."

"I think he's still a little hesitant to believe it," Nezumi confessed. He was pretending to look at a tray of biscuits, but a haunted look had come into his eyes. "He would have told you soon anyway, but maybe this will make things easier for him."

"Maybe," Karan agreed. "So why are you here by yourself?"

"Shion's working," Nezumi explained, turning back to the woman with a roll of his eyes. "I couldn't talk him out of it, but I do have something special planned for him this evening, and I was wondering if you could help me out."

"Of course," Karan agreed, a smile creeping over her face, "I'd be glad to. What do you have in mind?"

"Do you still know how to make cherry cake?"

Karan blinked her eyes. "I do," She confessed and cocked her head, "Would you like me to make some for you?"

"I would love that," Nezumi's face lit up as he grinned. "As long as it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"Not at all," Karan pursed her lips and eyed Nezumi. "Can I ask you something?"

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, "Sure."

Karan narrowed her eyes. "What's your relationship with my son?"

Nezumi sucked in a breath and then coughed like he was choking.

"I…." Nezumi swallowed. "Well… Shion and I… How much has he told you?"

Karan smiled.

"I know my son loves you." She said, her voice low, and gentle. "He's never had to say it, in so many words. I could just tell. And I know you were the one he protected all those years ago, and that's why you saved his life when you did. What I don't know is why you did that. Was it out of duty? Or was it something more?"

Nezumi's eyes rose to meet Karan's, and there was a frightened light in them. A quivering glimmer of emotion. Then he looked away.

"I…" He murmured, reaching up to rub a hand across the back of his neck. He cleared his throat.

Karan eyes wrinkled as she laughed.

She reached out and took Nezumi, pulling him into a hug and crushing him against her chest. Nezumi's eyes flew wide.

"Thank you," Karan whispered. "You don't have to answer me. I understand. Thank you, for everything you've done. And for coming back."

Nezumi sucked in a breath, and for a minute froze, but then he softened under the touch.

His arm came up to rest against her. He closed his eyes.

"It wasn't out of duty" Nezumi murmured, his voice barely loud enough for Karan to hear. "I haven't told Shion yet…"

"I understand." Karan whispered with a closed lip smile. "Don't wait too long, all right? He's already been waiting for you for a while."

"I know." Nezumi wilted. "I know."

Karan squeezed him.

"What do you say we make that cake?" She asked as she pulled away, releasing Nezumi to run a hand over his eyes.

Nezumi smiled, "Thanks, I appreciate that."

"It's my pleasure," Karan replied with a fond expression. "I'm glad you came to see me."

"Me too." Nezumi replied, the corner of his mouth curving. "It's good to finally meet you."

* * *

 

The sun went down early in the winter, and it was already getting dark by the time Shion heard a knock on his office door.

"Sir? You have a visitor."

"Hmmm?" Shion blinked. He was in the middle of reading a report on the construction of new water mains between lost town and the west block. He hadn't been listening when his secretary spoke. "Umm, just a minute, I'll be right there."

"Uh, Sir—,"

There was a THUD, as something hit his desk. Shion looked up in surprise.

Nezumi was leaning two hands on Shion's desk. His expression was a cross between amused and irritated. "I thought I told you, six o'clock."

Shion shrunk under Nezumi's gaze, "Can I just have a few more min—,"

Nezumi pushed off the desk, rolling his eyes as he came around the desk to stand behind Shion's chair.

"I'll tell you what," Said Nezumi, "If you're going to work on my time, then I'm just going to start without you. You can let me know when you're ready to join in."

"Start without me?" Shion repeated.

Nezumi leaned forward to run his hands over Shion's arms until he'd twined their hands together. Then Nezumi's lips descended on Shion's throat.

Shion jumped. "Nezumi! This is my office—,"

"And this is my night." Nezumi replied, his voice breathy in Shion's ear. "Don't mind me. Go ahead and work." Nezumi nipped against Shion's pulse point.

Shion pressed his lips together in restraint. "Fine, fine, we can leave. Just let me get my stuff."

Nezumi's chuckled, low and menacing. "If you insist."

Shion rolled his eyes, but he was fighting a smile as he sat up to organize the things on his desk before standing to grab his coat. "You realize that I'm going easy on you this time because you just got back? I will actually have to focus on work sometime in the future."

Nezumi grinned, tucking his hands into his pocket, "Sure, sure. We'll see how that goes for you."

Shion chuckled as the two of them headed out.

"So where is this date you planned?" Shion asked, turning his collar up against the cold as they stepped outside.

"You'll see," Nezumi said, his breath puffing through the air. "but first…" Nezumi unwound his scarf from his neck and held it up for Shion.

"Oh, no, I'm not that cold—," Shion started to protest. Nezumi shook his head.

"Turn around," The dark boy ordered, twirling a finger through the air. Shion raised an eyebrow but obeyed. That's when Nezumi reached up and started tying the scarf around Shion's eyes.

"Nezumi!" Shion squeaked. "What are you doing?"

"Surprising you," Nezumi voice was wry with humor, "Just trust me, all right?"

Shion pressed his lips together. "You know we're going to get some strange looks for this."

Nezumi laughed, "Oh don't worry Shion, I think I can handle it." he teased, and reached out to twine his fingers through Shion's.

A blush rose on Shion's cheeks.

"So you don't get lost," Nezumi murmured. Shion nodded his head.

"Of course," He replied, but a smile stole across his lips.

* * *

 

"It's freezing here Nezumi," Shion said. Nezumi was guiding him by the arms through some snowy, dark place that left Shion shuddering against the cold. He was starting to question this date.

"Just trust me," Nezumi reached up to take Shion by the shoulders. He stopped him, turning him around before he letting him go.

Nezumi reached for the scarf. "Close your eyes."

Shion's eyebrows pulled together. He closed his eyes as he felt Nezumi's scarf loosen and fall away, exposing Shion's face to the cold.

"All right…" Nezumi footsteps shuffled through the snow as he stepped aside, "Open them."

The air was cold against Shion's eyes as he blinked them open. For a moment confused to find himself in a night-dark garden that was dead with the snow. That is, until Shion eyes caught onto something familiar.

He sucked in a breath.

It was the Kronos house. The one he lived in when he was a kid, where he had first met Nezumi all those years ago.

The house Shion had lost for helping him.

Shion cleared his throat.

Shion had never missed it, not in all these years. Yet seeing it again… a wave of emotions crashed inside his chest.

Nezumi was standing behind him, and Shion could feel his presence only inches away. Nezumi's hands came up to rest on his shoulders— rubbing some warmth into his neck.

"Do you know what this spot is?"

Shion's eyes lifted, finding his old balcony and studying the wide windows that burned against the dark

They should have been dark… Shion knew that the houses in Kronos were empty, and it was a pitch black night outside. But somehow… there was a soft glow radiating from behind the glass.

"Yes,"

"Do you?"

Shion let out a breath and it curled around him like fog, "Of course, it's my old house."

Shion felt the tremor of Nezumi's breath against his neck.

"Not that," Nezumi said, him thumb brushing the hard ridge at the top of Shion's spine. "This spot… it's the first place I ever saw you."

Shion's breath faltered as he inhaled.

"I told you once before," Nezumi said, his voice low— a sign of nerves. "What it meant to me, looking up and seeing you there, your window open. But now… I think It means even more."

Shion chest rose and fell a little too rapidly, "More?"

Nezumi leaned his forehead against the back of Shion's hair, his breath ruffling the strands. "I wanted to come back to the beginning." he said, a strain in his voice. "Last night… you asked me if I thought about you." Nezumi's hands around Shion tightened. "I want to tell you everything from the start."

Shion closed his eyes. "Okay,"

"Do you want to go inside?"

Shion's eyes opened wide, "Inside?"

"Yeah," Nezumi pulled back, and his voice sounded brighter again. Full of humor. "The house is empty so I commandeered it." Nezumi walked out in front of him, so that Shion could see him smiling. He offered him a hand. "See for yourself?"

Shion gave him a stern look, "Nezumi—,"

"It's a victim-less crime." Nezumi teased. "Besides… It used to belong to you."

Shion smiled, reaching out to take Nezumi's hand.

Nezumi scaled over the balcony before reaching back for Shion. Shion considered refusing Nezumi's help, confident that he could climb up on his own, but he decided against it. He was glad for the feel of Nezumi's hand, closing around his and lifting him up. The two of them stumbled against each other as Nezumi pulled him over the ledge. Nezumi smiled.

He angled himself so that Shion couldn't see past him into the house. "Are you ready for one more surprise?" He asked. His voice deep and gentle, like quiet, lapping waves. "It isn't much…"

"I'm ready."

Nezumi took a deep breath.

"Okay," he agreed, his grip on Shion's shoulders tightening. "Okay."

Shion smiled. He could tell Nezumi was nervous— even though he almost never was. So Shion reached up and brushed his thumb against the line of Nezumi jaw.

"Whenever you're ready." Shion told him, before stretching up on his toes and kissing him.

Nezumi closed his eyes, softening against Shion's lips, his shoulders relaxing. When Shion pulled back.

And then he stepped aside.

Light hit Shion's eyes, the warm burn of fire light. When Shion looked he saw oil lamps, like the ones he and Nezumi had used in the underground room. He'd hung them from the ceiling of Shion's old bedroom like lanterns, casting everything in a soft amber glow.

That wasn't the only thing that was different though. As Shion looked into the room that used to belong to him, he saw it completely empty. Or at least it would have been, if it hadn't been for the picnic laid out on a thick wool blanket on the floor.

Shion lips parted in surprise.

Most people would have thought the food would be insignificant, but, clearly, Nezumi hadn't. Because the food that was there was the exact dinner that his mother had cooked the night the Shion and Nezumi met. The dinner that Shion had given away to him.

Shion blinked his eyes against the emotion that rose in his throat.

"You remembered," Shion whispered, afraid to speak too loudly in case his voice broke. "You did all this?"

"I had a little bit of help with the food," Nezumi confessed, refusing to look at Shion. "You're mother is a lovely woman."

Shion whirled on him.

"You met her?" Shion asked in shock. "When?"

"Today." Nezumi glanced at him. "I'm sorry… I should have asked you first. But I wanted her help to surprise you."

"No that's…." Shion cleared his throat. "That's all right… I'm glad you guys met." Shion's expression was filling with emotion again.

"Don't worry, she didn't have a chance to show me your baby pictures." Nezumi teased, needling Shion in the ribs, trying to ease the tension. "Though she was willing to tell me some stories…"

Shion's eyes went wide, "She what?"

Nezumi laughed, "I'm joking." he jeered, bumping Shion with his shoulder. "Do you want to go inside? The food will get cold soon."

"Right," Shion shook his head to clear his thoughts. Nezumi reached out and eased open the sliding door, guiding Shion inside.

Shion walked in first, shocked as he stepped through a wall of warmth. "Portable heater." Nezumi explained. nodding to a box in the corner. "Since the house doesn't have power anymore."

Shion smiled. "I can't believe you did this for me Nezumi. Thank you."

"Oh don't thank me yet…" Nezumi leered. He stepped forward to curl his fingers beneath Shion's chin, tipping his head back to look at him. Nezumi's eyes glinted with mischief, "I'm only doing this in hopes you'll put out."

Shion shot him an incredulous look, "Is that right? Well you better work a little harder. I not that easy."

Nezumi laughed, "I have been working at this for almost eight years."

"Have you?" Shion teased reaching up to twist his fingers in Nezumi's hair. "Cause it's been a real half-assed effort until now."

"Half-assed?" Nezumi raised a dubious eyebrow as a smile pulled at his lips. "If saving your life is half assed, then you, my little princeling, are asking for some serious seducing."

"I saved your life first," Shion pointed out.

"Exactly." Nezumi agreed, leaning close so his lips brushed Shion's. "That's how you seduced me." and Nezumi kissed him.

Shion hummed into the kiss, reaching up to loop his arms around Nezumi's neck and lean into him, letting himself get swept up.

Nezumi took the opportunity to reach his free hand around Shion's lower back. Pushing the smaller boy's hips against him. Shion moaned and tilted his head into the kiss, allowing Nezumi's fingers to slide down his neck.

Nezumi chuckled when they finally broke for air.

"There will be more time for that later," he promised, brushing his thumb over Shion's wet lips. "For now, let's eat."

Shion smiled, nodding in agreement.

They sat down together on the blanket, discarding their jackets before starting to lay out the picnic.

At one point, Nezumi set two mugs out on the blanket and took out a thermos, twisting the top off and pouring liquid into the mugs.

The sweet sent of chocolate filled Shion's nose.

Nezumi handed him a mug and Shion looked inside to find coils of steam rising from thick brown liquid.

"Hot chocolate?" Shion asked, and smiled. "You really did remember everything."

"It was a night worth remembering," Nezumi replied, taking a long sip from his own glass.

Shion's fingers nearly slipped around his mug.

Nezumi folded his legs indian style. He picked up a bowl of stew and began eating. He leveled the ashy gleam of his eyes on Shion."So what were you working on today?"

"Water mains," Shion replied around a spoonful of soup. "Fascinating, I know."

Nezumi chuckled, "Well it would have been, back in the day. You know how useful water mains can be."

Shion shot him a look. "I remember, but I'm hoping you won't need a quick get away anytime soon?"

Nezumi raised his eyes to Shion's, a slow smile spreading across his lips. "No." he agreed, and steady light in his eyes. "Not anytime soon. Not without you."

Shion eyes searched Nezumi's, his lips pressing together. "Yeah?"

Nezumi nodded. "Yeah."

Shion smiled.

They absorbed themselves in small talk, letting the night grow later. They finished their meal with an unhurried patience, until finally they reached dessert.

"So this is why you had to get my mom's help," Shion realized as Nezumi unearthed a cherry cake from inside his picnic basket. "Keeping with a theme?"

"Couldn't help myself," Nezumi smiled with closed lips. "Besides, I've been craving this for awhile."

"Me too," Shion agreed, his expression warming. Nezumi eyed him.

"You didn't just ask Karan to make you one?"

"Oh, uh…" Shion cleared his throat as he leaned forward to set down his mug and grab the plates. "No. I just… could bring myself to do it. It didn't feel right after you were gone."

Nezumi seemed to weigh something in the silence.

"You think you ever would have changed you mind?" his expression was cautious as he asked, "About waiting?"

Shion didn't waver.

"No," Shion replied, shaking his head. "I wouldn't have changed my mind."

Nezumi smiled.

They ate cake with their hands, laying on the blanket and staring at the lamps flickering near the ceiling. For a while they had silence. The hum of the heater, the flickering warmth of the lamps, the sweet taste of cherries on their lips. When they finished, they continued to lay in comfortable tranquility until finally Nezumi let out a breath.

It was time for this. Wether he wanted it to be or not.

"Shion," Nezumi said, shifting on the blanket but refusing to look anywhere but straight up at the ceiling. "you should know by now that I'm not good at being open with people."

Shion turned his head against the blanket, looking at Nezumi in surprise.

"Nezumi—,"

"Before I met you, I thought getting close to anyone meant risking your own life. And in a way… I still think that."

Shion sucked in a breath.

"But you," Nezumi cleared his throat, "You taught me that some people are worth the risk."

"The thing is," Nezumi continued. He reached up and pressed a hand against his forehead, like he was taking temperature. "I'm never going to be good at sharing things with you, even now. But I… can at least try."

Shion's heart thrummed in his chest. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you can ask me anything," Nezumi said with a wry smile. "Not that you've ever held back before, but this time, I promise I'll answer. Whatever it is, no matter what." Nezumi took a deep breath, "That's what I can give to you."

Shion blinked.

"So I have tonight?" he asked, a little hesitant and awed. "To ask you anything I want?"

Nezumi nodded. "That's right." He turned his head to look at Shion, and his eyes gleamed like sheets of rain in a storm. "Better make it good."


	8. One Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewritten slightly to finish the story

Shion's recollections of Nezumi tended to come to him in the sharp echo of sensations. He could close his eyes, and he could think back to the feelings of that time. The pain of Nezumi blade pricking his throat. The rough pages of Nezumi's books between his fingers. The warm rush of dinner cooking before Nezumi got home, and the sting of the wind when he went looking for Nezumi in the cold bitter night.

Even the tumult of his emotions back then were still fresh. The swell in his chest when Nezumi would look impressed by him. The coiling of nerves the moment before Shion leaned down to kiss him. The hollow yearning of looking at Nezumi sleeping, the morning he tried to leave. Even the desperate ache of the pure love that Shion clung to as Nezumi gripped his arm and ordered him not to fall apart.

Shion remembered it with clarity– crystalline sharp, and glittering in the folds of his mind. Lorded over, like all delicate and precious things. Yet, the moments that stuck out to him above all others, were the memories of when Nezumi used to touch him.

Nezumi was not always kind. There were days and nights when he was cruel. When he tried to teach Shion he was alone; tried to harden him. Told him anything he could to make the world seem as bleak and empty as he had convinced himself it was. But what Shion remembered most about these times was that, when it was over, Nezumi always seemed to find a way to touch him.

These were never purposeful touches; no motive, no goal. Just the gentle brush of his fingers over Shion's hand. Stroking Shion's cheek. Pressing his forehead against the back of Shion's hair. Always something, and all the sting of his harsh words disappeared against Nezumi's skin.

And it was through those steady, small moments of unacknowledged kindness, that Shion came to fall in love with him.

Lying on the floor of his old Kronos house, Shion was grateful for each of these memories. The way a child, nearly grown, becomes grateful to his old toys. For bringing him this far, for making what was frightening simpler, for making loneliness less sharp. Silently he realized that these moments had been his only reassurance, for a long time, that things were going to be okay.

More importantly…..they were the only evidence he had ever had the that, deep down, Nezumi had always loved him.

But like coming to the end of childhood, Shion had reached the point where it was time to give up on the small things. It was time to take a leap of faith— on your own strength— that you can keep on going without them. That you will find your sanctuary somewhere else.

So Shion leaped.

He rolled, bringing himself up on one elbow and looking down at the boy lying beside him on the floor.

Nezumi's watched him, careful and anxious. Shion reached out and placed a hand against Nezumi's cheek and leaned down. Their foreheads resting together.

Nezumi's body trembled as he closed his eyes.

"Thank you," Shion whispered, his breath shaking against Nezumi lips. "For giving something like that to me. I know how much it means for you to offer your life up like that. And… I want to know you, that I want to know everything there is to know about you, until there is no one in the world who knows you better, but…"

Shion pulled back and smiled. "Someone precious once told me it's important to find the truth with your own hands. People are not a quantity of information for you to measure them by. You should come to know them on your own."

Shion squared his shoulders. "I want to come to know you by my own hands," he said, his voice firm and convicted, "to spend everyday with you, to watch you live and change and be. I want to earn every answer there is, to the depths of you, by living at your side and learning about you day by day, the way that I should." Shion's fingers brushed through Nezumi's hair. "So thank you, but I don't need to ask you dozens of questions. I only have one request."

Nezumi looked like he wasn't breathing evenly, and his throat was tense and strained with muscle. "And what is that?"

Shion closed his eyes and pressing their foreheads more tightly. Both sets of his fingers sliding through Nezumi's hair as he breathed in.

"Be with me," Shion said, his voice coming out low and rasped. "Please… so that I can know you, so that I won't ever have to lose you again. Let me stay by your side." Shion swallowed, "Because I love you, more than anyone else. If I only have finite days, and moments, to be living, I want to know that what's left of them are going to be with you."

A single tear, ran down the length of Nezumi's cheek. His breathing shook as he reached up and ran his hands through Shion hair. His throat flexed when he swallowed.

Shion felt the air move against his lips as Nezumi breathed.

"I love you, Shion."

Shion's entire body seemed to freeze, and Nezumi took another slow breath.

"It was the one thing I wanted to tell you tonight," he said. His eyes shut as he pressed his face to Shion's— their noses brushing together along the sides. "It was the thing I wanted you to know."

Shion's grip tightened. Tangling and knotting in Nezumi's hair, gripping it between gentle, shaking fists. His head buried itself in the crook between Nezumi's neck and shoulder. Seeking some measure of privacy from Nezumi's eyes.

That's when hot tears started sliding against Nezumi's throat.

Nezumi closed his eyes. He shifted so that Shion's body would fall into him, their legs tangling together. Shion's arms moved from gripping Nezumi's hair to fisting in his shirt.

Nezumi's arm moved to wrap around Shion's waist. The other petting Shion's hair. Sometimes sliding along the back of his neck, like stroking a child.

Nezumi turned his head and pressed his face into Shion's hair, and the boy's grip on him tightened.

It took time; before the tears stopped, before both of their breathing steadied. Some of the pain and tightness in their chests starting to ease. They held onto each other, until the air started to become still around them and deep night began to set in outside.

Shion shifted, his grip loosing from Nezumi's shirt. He rested his head against Nezumi's shoulder, and his arms wrapped around Nezumi's waist.

Shion blinked open his eyes.

"I didn't know if you were ever going to say that to me," he said. His voice finally seemed to come back to him, a quiet, husky rasp. It made goose-bumps rise on Nezumi's skin. "For a long time. I didn't know if it was something I would ever get to hear you say."

Nezumi swallowed.

"I know," He breathed, some of the stinging coming back into his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry."

Shion shook his head.

"It's okay," He whispered. "You said it now. That's all that matters."

Nezumi closed his eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you again, Shion." Nezumi said, his voice barely loud enough to break the stillness of the room. "What I did… I had to do it once. For the kid inside of me who had wanted to do it, from before he even met you. For the side of me that promised, if No.6 fell, then I was free to leave. I was free." Nezumi sighed, "I needed to be free, Shion, just once; if I was ever going to be free to comeback."

Shion thought back to the moment when he and Nezumi were talking to Rou. The man had looked at Nezumi and warned him that he should have left No.6 and never comeback. Shion remembered the fierce anger inside of Nezumi as he shouted that his only freedom would come with the fall of No.6. That only if he fought it, and won, would he call himself free. Then Nezumi could go. Only then would it be his choice.

Shion hadn't been listening to him, at least not the way he should have been, not at the time. All he had heard was Nezumi admitting that he was going to leave. He sprung up and demanded Nezumi tell him what he was talking about, what did he mean?

Nezumi never answered him. He dodged the question, had become distracted by something else. And that day, the Shion who had been through hell, who had seen death and carnage and heartlessness and pain. Who was clinging to Nezumi so desperately, just to hold onto his own sanity, to know he was there. That Shion had been too afraid to ask him again. Had been too close to an edge he couldn't come back from to risk it.

But now, Shion thought he could understand.

Even if he had always trusted Nezumi— had always accepted his choice— it took until this moment for him to realize why Nezumi had left.

It was because it had been his choice.

"I think I know that now," Shion turned his head. He could smell Nezumi's scent coming through his shirt, and he felt surrounded by him. "I think I understand."

Shion squeezed Nezumi tighter.

"I forgive you."

Nezumi hand came up from around Shion's waist and tipped the boy's head up so that he could kiss him right on the top of his hair.

"Thank you."

Shion's arms tightened.

He leaned up to give Nezumi what he planned to be a quick peck on the lips— but the moment their lips touched, the energy in the room seemed to change.

Shion made a breathy noise. His breath brushing Nezumi's lips as they parted. Nezumi his hands were around Shion's waist, pulling him closer. He rested Shion on top of him, their bodies alined down to where their legs were sliding together, bunching up the blanket.

Nezumi's hand slid into Shion's hair, melding their lips together. Shion's cool hands slid up Nezumi's shirt, sending shivers down his spine.

"Shion," Nezumi panted, when his voice was breathless from long moments of kissing. "if you keep doing that I'm going to loose my mind."

It was then that Shion realized. He had been absent-mindedly grinding his hips into Nezumi's. Making the dark boy red faced and panting from the strain.

"Sorry," Shion breathed, trying to lean some of his weight off Nezumi.

The dark boy seemed to have another idea.

He rolled them, so that Shion was beneath him on the blanket, and Nezumi was kneeling over his prone form. Not so much of them was touching now, but this gave Nezumi the leverage to slide his hand up Shion's shirt and delve his tongue into his mouth.

Shion whimpered, his body arching against Nezumi touch, making Nezumi feel heady and hot. Every part of him ached to fall into this, to move quickly, and go too fast. It took everything Nezumi had to restrain himself.

Nezumi groaned, loud and keening as he pulled back from Shion's mouth. Gasping airlessly as he tried to sort out some reason in his head.

"God, I want you." Nezumi breathed, looking down at Shion— all red cheeks, messed hair, and a shirt pushed half with up his stomach. "We're hardly even touching and you're driving me insane,"

Shion flushed darker at this, and Nezumi got the feeling he had no instincts on how to respond.

Nezumi laughed.

"It's ok," he said, leaning down to place a kiss on the side of Shion's jaw. "I think maybe I just need some air."

Shion grabbed him by the shoulder.

"But… it's okay." Shion said, his cheeks turning redder as his shy voice tried to get the words out. "I want you too. I… I want this with you."

Nezumi's eyes darkened. He could feel his predatory side coming out as he gazed down at Shion with lower lidded eyes. He enjoyed the way it made Shion start to squirm.

He leaned down; angling his body so that it hovered over Shion in all the right places, before his lips pressed agains his throat.

Shion sucked in a breath, his head lolling back to give Nezumi better access. Nezumi took it, trailing hot, nipping kisses down the skin of Shion's neck. He took special care to suck on the curves of Shion's red scar.

The white-haired made loud needy sounds.

Nezumi ran his fingers over Shion's collar so that it gapped and started to fall off near Shion's shoulder, "Should I take this off?"

Shion nodded again.

Nezumi reached for the buttons. Making a show of popping each one and trailing his fingers between them. His lips descended and followed a path down Shion's chest.

Shion arched into him.

Nezumi got through the shirt at the top of Shion stomach, where he had pushed it up. He let it fall aside, opening pale, red coiled skin, to light of the flickering lamps. Shion's head tossed to the side as he tried to get breath.

Nezumi felt the sight like a shot of electricity all the way down to his toes.

He kept kissing, and gently sucking, his way down Shion's arching, sensitive stomach. Noticing, with interest, that he was still nearly hairless. Only a fine, frost- like dusting of white hair remained just below his belly-button. Which Nezumi dipped his tongue into just to watch Shion jump.

When he reached the line of Shion's pants, though, he stopped.

Nezumi mind was starting to become clouded. He skin was turning hot and jumpy and his pulse was rushing in his veins as he touched the beautiful, yielding boy beneath him. He wasn't able to keep priorities completely straight. His mind started filling with all the filthy things he could do to him. Things that would make Shion scream his name. He had to violently shake them from his mind before he acted.

"Shion," he said, making the slender white haired boy look at him with dark crimson eyes, hazy with lust.

Nezumi had to swallow hard.

"Shion, If we keep going I'm not going to be able to stop," Nezumi confessed, his breath coming out a little uneven. 

Some of the haze in Shion's eye started to clear and Shion nodded his head, "I want to be with you."

Nezumi closed his eyes at the rush of heat he felt. Especially with Shion looking the way he did.

"Okay."

Nezumi's walls crumbled after that. The two of them stripping off their clothes and coming together felt right, felt like there was really nothing between them. They couldn't keep their hands off each other, couldn't stop from brushing their lips, nuzzing each other's neck, and moving together deep and slow or fast and rough or something in between. 

They were finally together, really together, at the place were everything started and that felt right. 

This was the place Nezumi became the person who could love Shion, and this is the place where Shion's love saved his life. 

So it was only right that this is where everything began again. Their new life together. Finally. 

 

THE END 


End file.
